infertility

I just need to vent a little.

Jeremiah and I tried for 7 years to get pregnant before we received the blessing we named Wren Lorraine Martin. We are now trying to get pregnant again and I hate it. It is a terrible roller coaster ride aided with medication and lots of mood swings. I take two clomid each day which give me the symptoms of menopause - mood swings, hot flashes, night sweats... the list goes on. Then there is the metformin that I take which causes stomach issues, stomach cramps and diarrhea. Don't get me wrong, these are all things that I am happy to "deal" with most of the time but I hate month after month of waiting to see what is going to happen, am I going to get pregnant? am I going to have to continue the roller coaster? Each month I question why I don't get to be pregnant when I see people around me who are terrible parents getting pregnant, I see children going to homes where they are abused and unloved. It makes me sad and a little bit angry. Sometimes a lot bit angry! I know that I need to just be patient and realize that God has a plan for me and that I should trust in him. Before we had Wren I had a lot of anger towards God and once we finally got pregnant and it stuck (we had 4 miscarriages in those 7 years), I was grateful for the time that Jeremiah and I had to become a stronger couple and learn the things that we wanted to teach our child(ren) when we were finally blessed with them. I know that there is a process and that I will once again be grateful for the trials that I am going through when I see the bigger picture but while going through those trials it just sucks!

so like I said, just venting.

Las Vegas

HOPEFULLY I WILL ADD PICS LATER WHEN I HAVE TIME TO STEAL THEM FROM VALERIE!

My brother, Michael, and his wife, Jackie had the opportunity to go to England for 10 days the beginning of July and they asked me to come and babysit their kids for them. They have 3 girls; Audrey, Kirsten and Ava Marie (I add her middle name cause it's the same as mine!) and one little boy, Evan. Audrey is the oldest at 8 and Evan is the youngest at 3. They are good kids and very independent but coming from a one kid home it can be overwhelming. So, my solution?? To take THREE MORE KIDS!!! Valerie came with me and I was so very grateful! We flew out of Idaho Falls on June 27th. I had to ask a very nice lady if she would switch seats with me so that I could sit next to Valerie but even though she had to sit in the very last row she didn't have to sit next to any babies! The children were all surprisingly good on the airplane, Isabella sat next to me and let Wren crawl all over her trying to get to the window and then to me and then to the window and back and forth a million times!



Michael and Jackie have a pool and Wren would like to live with them for that reason alone. She would stand in the 6 inch deep portion of the pool and jump off of the ledge to me, even allowing her head to go under, over and over again all day long. She even went down the last 3 feet of the slide several time and LOVED that also. We did discover that she is allergic to sunscreen. I tried several different kinds while we were there and each one made her eyes swollen, her nose run like crazy and she even had a rash after 2 of the applications. It was very sad! The solution was quite easy actually. We swam twice a day and the first time was usually when she was still asleep in the morning (at 10 a.m.). So, she would wake up (at NOON), we would play inside for about an hour, make lunch for the kids, then put the kids down for naps (which they hated). After that, I would make her lunch and then back to bed we would go! Valerie and I were able to take naps every day that we were there! It was so very nice! After naps we would have the kids play upstairs or clean upstairs while we made dinner, then after dinner we would go and swim again. That was the perfect time for Wren to swim. The sun was not severe enough to require sunblock and most of the time she was in the shade that evening provided.



Since we were there for the 4th of July, we watched the fireworks from Mike's house. The ones from the casino down the road were very nice, but then the neighbors started setting off their crazy loud firecrackers right below us. I was very prepared to drag Wren inside screaming from being so loud but girlfriend just sat right down in my lap and started clapping! The rest of the littler kids were terrified, but not my girl! She Crazy!



I of course have to write about the TWO times Evan pooped in the hot tub (which spills over into the pool!) the first time a minimal amount of poop came out of his swim suit but the second time there were HUGE LOGS IN THERE!! This, THIS was the reason that I brought Valerie along! She climbed into the poo stew and scooped all that poo right out with a little scooper! I will call her the pooper scooper trooper! :) After the second time that this happened, I told Evan that he could not get in the pool without a swim diaper on and for two days he would not get in the pool because he did not want to wear a diaper. I finally gave in (What, he's not my kid!) and let him get in after that. It's just so hot there, I felt bad for him! Happily, he did not poop again while we were there.



One other small mention: Justin came for a couple of days that we were there and one night he let Valerie and I go see Eclipse! It was SO good and I am excited to go and see it again after I read the books again. THANKS JUSTIN!

Fun Stuff

I need to write down some of the fun things that Wren is up to lately!

She has a baby doll that Grandma Lorraine gave her for Christmas that she just discovered and oh how she LOVES it!! She picks it up like it is a real baby and pats it on the head, gives it kisses and makes sure that its "bow" is not in her eyes!!

Tonight, she started "beeping" my nose!! HAHAHA! It was toooo cute!

She likes to run away from me and have me "yell" at her to get back over to me and then she will run over and give me hugs! I love it! I am a little worried that now the only way I can get her to do anything will be to yell at her though! HA!

Sometimes she will be playing and will stop what she is doing, come over to me and give me hugs and kisses with no encouragement or askance from me. This is my all time favorite thing, it makes me feel soooo loved! She is such a cutie.

She LOVES her daddy! When he comes home she can NOT hold in her excitement! She squeals and runs to him and pretty much does not let him put her down until bedtime! It is a nice break for me and I love that she loves him so much, they are so funny! Also, if she is awake before he leaves in the morning and he is telling her to come and say goodbye to him, she will go over, give him kisses, look back at me and wave bye bye to ME! So much for being the primary caregiver, right! :)

I am sure there are more and I will remember them as soon as I post this but I really need to start remembering to write these things down, I will be sad if I forget things!

crazy girl!

Today is my cleaning and laundry day. Usually I don't get much done but today I was killing it! I got all of my laundry done, folded/ironed and PUT AWAY!!! That in itself is a feat and something that usually takes all week! I also cleaned the mats from the car, cleaned the living room, bedroom, Wren's room, the bathroom, vacuumed and made dinner! I feel so accomplished!

After I got done scrubbing the bathroom floor (which had poo on it from Wren going diaper-less because of her rash) I put the bucket inside the bathroom and closed the door to wait until the floor was dry to dump the water down the toilet. I then had to go into the bathroom to get a towel to put in the washer, left the door open and went downstairs. When I got back upstairs (about 30 seconds later) I went into the bathroom to dump the water and there was Wren, sitting in a huge puddle of water with the rag ON HER HEAD, running her hands all over her face and licking her fingers!!!! GROSS!!!!!! I really wanted to run and grab my camera, but I was a little afraid that she was going to be poisoned so instead, I put her in the bathtub and cleaned her off. What a funny baby!

Tonight I made homemade mac n' cheese, lil' smokies in bbq sauce, and beets for dinner. Can you guess what Wren loved the most?? No? the BEETS! She ate about 4 of them and would only eat the mac n'
cheese if I added a piece of beet to it!! Sooo funny!

blogging

I really need to do better with my blog, I know!  It has been raining here the last couple of days and Wren loves to watch it!  I am constantly amazed by this girl, yesterday it was thundering SO loud!  Wren was sleeping and I was sure that it was going to wake her up but nope! She slept right through it!  Also, when she was awake, it didn't faze her at all!  I love it!

We have really been loving the warmer weather.  Wren LOVES to be outside.  My mom let us borrow a small "car" that has a handle on it for me to push and that girl screams when I take her out of it!  I need to get a video of her in it.  She would rather ride in that car than do anything else, including EAT! 

Girlfriend has gotten a lot better at walking, she now prefers to do that over crawling.  There is a lot of falling involved, but she is persistent. 

We went and got Wren's 1 year old pictures taken by my cousin, Melissa (http://www.melissabelnapphotography.blogspot.com/) and here is a fun sampling of what she did, they are all so cute and she was sooooo good

She has had a really bad diaper rash lately and it makes me so sad!  The other night she woke up at least 6 times and just wanted to be held.  It was sweet, but sad!  Every time she would poop (which was a lot and probably the reason for the rash) she would cry and try to run away from her bum!  She would also cover her mouth with her hand while crying, which really hurt my heart but also made me smile.  She is getting so big and developing such a big personality!  We love her so much and are so grateful for her in our lives!

Happy Birthday Wren!

Wow, I cannot believe that Wren is already one!! This year has been so wonderful and such a blessing to Jeremiah and I. Wren fills our lives with joy and home with laughter! It is so much fun to have her around, to watch her discover the world around her and to be loved by her.

Wren has started walking and it is soooo cute! We tried to "force" her to do it for so long and then one day, I was folding clothes on the floor and she just walked right past me, over to a toy, sat down and started playing with it!

She loves to play with all things that go in her hair, or MINE! She is always taking my headbands off and putting them on her head - I call them her pretties and she gets the biggest smiles when she accomplishes the feat of getting them to stay on her head!

Wren still loves Grandma Aldridge A LOT and even though she is becoming a BIG momma's girl she does like to give kisses to the people she "hangs" with!

She does NOT like to share her toys and will grab them away from any other child who is near! And in fact thinks that ALL toys that she can see belong to her!

She still loves the bathtub and being in a pool. She can spend hours in the water and be happy as a clam! :)

All in all, we LOVE THIS BABY!!!

Groundhog Day...

Earlier today, Jeremiah and I were talking about what we did today and I told him that sometimes I feel like I am in that movie, Groundhog Day. Don't get me wrong, I completely enjoy being a mom and everything that goes along with that but there are times that it gets super monotonous and the routine that is necessary to stay sane sometimes drives me to insanity!

For instance, most days this is what my day looks like: I get Wren up, change her diaper, feed her, play with her, feed her, put her down to sleep, clean up her toys, get ready for the day then do laundry/dishes/clean the house, get Wren up, change her diaper, feed her, play with her, feed her, put her down to sleep, clean up her toys, get dinner started then do laundry/dishes/clean the house, get Wren up, change her diaper, feed her, play with her (usually this is when Jeremiah gets home and I can have some me time to relax and take a bath or read a book or check my email!), feed her and put her to bed. Then I have to turn my brain off and try to sleep but it usually takes several hours for me to unwind enough to get to sleep and sometimes end up falling asleep on the couch and waking up later to go to the bedroom.

Now, please don't think that I am complaining about any of this. I am just observing that this is the way that my life is "organized" right now. I love Wren and love that I get to stay at home and be a mom to her. I love Jeremiah and the effort that he puts in to being a great dad, husband and provider for us. He is so busy with work and school but always finds time to make sure that his girls know that he loves them. It is so cute to see how much Wren loves her daddy and the other way around. I hope that never changes and that they always have a special relationship and bond.