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Friday, November 20, 2009

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Thursday, November 19, 2009

just cause.....

Okay, so my friend Angela has been having a hard time with some people in her ward and on her PERSONAL blog posted the following entry she has now decided to take it down or I would just provide a link to her blog. Just so you know, Angela is a great person! She is the kind of person that can take criticism very well - she will listen to what you have to say and then really consider it and can admit if she is wrong!! She received a lot of bad feedback because of this post and I just feel that you should be able to post something on your own blog and have the people who randomly read your blog respect what you have to say and even if they don't agree, perhaps just respond in a respectful manner!


Friendship & The Golden Rule
The past month has been a very difficult one for me. I have recieved some deep flesh wounds from some "so called" friends. It began as a small disagreement and then just snowballed from there.But, this post is not about what happened or didn't happen; who is right and who is wrong. This post is about friendship and how to treat people.Anyone who knows me very well knows that I'm the type of person that loves people and makes friends very easily...and I take those friendships very seriously. I will do anything for my friends, just ask them. I also think that the TRUE test of friendship is when there is an arguement or disagreement. If you really value that friend, you'll have an open heart and really want to fix the problem. I've had this experience in the past and it has made the friendships even stronger afterwards. Needless to say, this did not happen this time. These ladies felt it was more important for them to be "right" than to care about me or my feelings or show me any kind of respect and/or love in the process. In fact, they actually used their leadership callings in the church to go to the bishop and have me released from my calling without even trying to work it out with me first. Wow. That's just wrong. I guess they didn't value my friendship, which makes me sad.This whole thing makes me sad: sad that they didn't care enough about me or that they think so little of me that they couldn't come to me to talk it out. Am I really THAT scary of a person? I'm sad that the bishopric had to be involved; sad to lose a calling that I loved and was good at (the bishop said I was the BEST Primary Choirster they've EVER had in the ward); sad that my feelings have been hurt so deeply; and sad to lose two "friends" in the process. But, I guess if this is the way they treat people after some small disagreement, it's better to find this out sooner than later and it makes me really feel bad for them.Thankfully, my wonderful husband and TRUE friends have rallied around me and supported me through this whole emotional rollercoaster. We all just can't believe how this molehill became a mountain to these ladies and sad that this has happened in our ward. I have a wonderful husband. Seth is very wise and has really helped me remember what's important in my life. He knows just what to say and how to say it to help me feel better and keep the right perspective during this most recent drama. He has given me several good things to ponder and pray on and pointed out a couple good Conference talks that have helped me to refocus and try to get over the hurt and betrayal that I've felt. I'm SO blessed to have him in my life and SO blessed for the STRONG testimony I have of the gospel of Jesus Christ. Now, I'm not saying I didn't contribute to this mess. That would be stupid. It takes two (or in this case three) to tango. We are all to blame. Looking back I would've done a few things differently, and would hope that they would've too. I have definately learned a lot in this whole ordeal and I'll try hard to make sure this doesn't happen again. I hope that we can all be reminded of The Golden Rule and remember that even if you disagree with someone, you still need to treat them with respect and love, no matter how "right" you think you are. I also hope that this hurt I'm feeling doesn't last too long.Thanks for letting me vent.

These are the following comments:


Cynthia said...
Oh Angela, I'm so sorry this happened. It is so hard to have these experiences. I'm glad for your positive attitude; you can never go wrong when you continue to be kind and love others even when they aren't showing you the same courtesy. That said, that is VERY difficult to do. Keep at it, girl. You're awesome!!
November 9, 2009 6:58 PM

SWhitleyNC said...
I love you...Hate, Hate, Hate...I am really sad those sisters did that...Hate, Hate, Hate...I am sure Heavenly Father is sad, too...Hate, Hate, Hate...I guess we just need to "pray for those sisters" like one of them emailed the other day...Hate,Hate,Hate...they need to listen to their own words and rememeber actions speak louder than words, but words hurt, too...Hate, Hate, Hate...stay true to what you know is right and I LOVE YOU!!! Sharon
November 13, 2009 12:44 PM

Christy Ivory said...
Man Ang,I must know somemore details. I'll call you in a couple of days. Hang in there. You don't need them. Make other friends. You don't need to waste your time with people who don't appreciate you. DOn't let them bother you. You are totally above that. Have a good day and just pretend like it never happened. Otherwise it will eat away at you like.....umm....something. Keep your chin up!
November 15, 2009 3:35 AM

Anonymous said...
I am afraid that any healing that is to be done will be more difficult now that things have been "vented" all over the internet. I hope "true friends" aren't being asked to take sides. Adversity comes in many shapes, sizes, and guises, and they help us see our weaknesses and strengths. I have been so torn not knowing what to say to help you. I am empathetic to your sensitivity and feelings, but you will get more peace from prayer than from writing people off and not remembering that none of us are paid to serve in the church. We are not only judged by our actions, but how we react to others. I love you.
November 16, 2009 9:02 AM

Anonymous said...
The first anonymous comment was right on the button. This post really wasn't the best way to retrieve the spirit, nor to invite others to feel it. We love you Angela and so does your Heavenly Father. He is the one who can really turn this around appropriately, Not the masses in the ether.
November 16, 2009 7:51 PM

Anonymous said...
Oh Angela, I hope that your anonymous "friends" realize that a PERSONAL blog is a place to vent your PERSONAL feelings - kind of like a journal. When you have been betrayed like you have, its okay to feel hurt and even blog about it. (It kind of sounds like your "friends" are on the defensive because they know they have something to be ashamed about). Sometimes it helps just to write it all down in order to let it go. It is a part of your life and it is something that you are clearly struggling with and attempting to deal with right now. I hope that you can find peace from this and I am so proud of you for trying to gain eternal perspective too. And as far as "true friends" are concerned, it sounds like those women never were. Just know that there are people out here that think you are an amazing person and that we are wishing only the VERY best for you!!! - Valerie H
November 17, 2009 3:29 PM

Shauna Martin said...
Angela, I would like your permission to repost this entry onto my blog. I love so much how you have handled this issue and hope that all of the other parties involved have had the opportunity to soul search as you have. You are such a wonderful person and certainly do not deserve to be treated in the manner that you have. I think that you are a great example and a wonderful leader! Love you! Shauna
November 18, 2009 12:52 AM

Anonymous said...
Anybody read the October 2009 Ensign? There's a great little blurb about blogging. If you want something to be private, this is not the venue. Don't give in to the natural man! Peace, sisters! : )
November 18, 2009 6:54 AM

Sharon Whitley said...
We all get to make choices in life...we can choose to go to PERSONAL blogs and read what that person has to say...or we can CHOOSE NOT TO READ IT. (Maybe the last entry should re-read the article since they left a comment on a "blog" themselves.) We don't have control over waht someone else says or does in this temporal world. We don't even get to have control over the consequences to choices...and that is the part that stinks. It is funny how when someone uses their God given right to "voice their opinion"...and we all have opinions on everything (especially women)...it becomes a "choosing of sides". There is something called respect that was lost somewhere along this journey and it makes me sad. We are ALL Heavenly Father's children and I am sure He is saddened at what we are all doing to each other...why not pick up the phone and call and do the old fashion thing of apoligize...blogs, emails and even letters can be interpreted the wrong way. We need to FEEL of each other's spirits...and it is hard to do in a format like this. Yes, there might be yelling to start with...but if we try to see the others point of view...whether we agree with it or not...we might be able to heal those deep flesh wounds. I saw Angela extremely heartbroken this past Fast Sunday at what happenend to her. I was very disappointed that two of my fellow ward members were involved in this huge heartache for her (even if they didn't mean for it to be interpreted the way Angela did)...and they have not made any attempt to phone HER and try to straighten this out. This is not how Heavenly Father would want this to end. We don't just brush it under the rug and think it will go away. When a married couple is having difficulty in their marriage...I am sure their Bishop would not suggest "divorce" at the first meeting...he wouldn't even just talk to one of them, then the other and then make some life altering decision for them...but through counsel with the Lord and both the husband and wife...he would have them work this out.That is Heavenly Father's plan. Friendships are the same. They ARE worth fighting for. We are suppose to be a ward family...and families do disagree...but in the end...we have to keep that eternal perspective...who we are, where we are going and "why we are here"...please dear sisters...please CALL each other and meet for lunch. (Pray first so the Lord will guide you.) I will look after children so that this emnity that is growing at such a fast pace...ends. YOU CAN make a difference in the life of your sisters. Pride goeth before a fall...don't let Satan win this.Much love and peace to all involved at this point.
November 18, 2009 10:04 AM

Anonymous said...
I just think these comments are very commical that you people actually THINK you know what's going on and who's to blame! Stay to your own business and LOVE ONE ANOTHER!
November 18, 2009 11:40 AM

Shauna Martin said...
One other thing that I wanted to tell you Angela, I am proud of you for your faith. Someone with less faith than you would surely have let this contention cause them to go inactive. I truly hope that everything works out here although I really don't see how that could be possible when "anonymous" refuses to acknowledge any part in what is going on. I completely agree with what Sharon has said and loved her example of a marriage that was having problems. Surely that couple would not really think that email was the way to actually communicate. LOVE YOU! :)
November 18, 2009 12:15 PM

Anonymous said...
Ditto the last comment! You can still love your friends but don't contribute to the gossip. Yep, that's what it is...GOSSIP! Nobody knows what the full story is but the people involved, and that's the way it should stay. I love my ward and everyone in it! I hope the parties involved can resolve things peacefully, because I know that all of the ladies involved are sweet, sweet women!

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Monday, November 2, 2009

Way to long....

Okay, so it has been way to long since I last updated my blog and I have no good excuse... I have actually been waiting to upload pictures to my new computer but still haven't gotten around to doing it so this will be a pictureless entry!

This summer was crazy busy! We went to the Tracy Family Reunion, the Mike and Leda Hathaway Family Reunion and the Mike and Lorraine Hathaway Family Reunion all within about a week of each other. They were all a blast but my favorite was, of course, my families reunion. We went to the WorldMark resort at Wolf Creek in Utah and our family is just getting SO big! We had to have 3 condos and we all did a fair bit of walking! There was tons of yummy food, games that we played and swimming. The most surprising thing that came from this reunion was that I discovered that I really love to play racquetball!! I am not very good at it (YET) but I want to get better. It is quite the workout and fun to do.

Wren was held pretty much the entire reunion (By Grandma Aldridge!) and so when we got home, she was S.P.O.I.L.E.D! She was kind of driving me crazy (like making me want to scream into a pillow kind of crazy) and I thought that maybe on top of me not holding her 24-7 she was not feeling well also. So about 3 days after we got home I felt her gums and sure enough, there was a little tiny tooth trying to poke through. Well, add that into the equation and I thought that she was actually being really good!! She now has two little teeth and I think that she looks sooooo darn cute with them!

In October, Kathryn invited Valerie and I to go to Disneyland with her because she was taking Drew and Audrey for their 8th birthday. OF COURSE we both went and it was fantastic!! We had quite the adventure, starting with me driving down all by myself 3 days before the rest of the party came so that I could drop Wren off with Blair and Paige and hopefully get her settled in before abandoning her. Mom couldn't believe that I would leave her and I have to admit that it was WAY harder than I imagined that it was going to be. Yes, I cried! Isabella did ride down with me and was supposed to help me with Wren but really it mostly came down to her getting to watch movies and eat at McDonald's on the way down! :) She was really cute though and I loved having her with me. I then met the rest of the party at Mike and Jackie's house in Vegas and we took off for California. Valerie got her apples confiscated at the California border then remembered that she had 2 more in her purse and ate them with great satisfaction to the amusement of Kathryn and I. We went straight to Disneyland the first day and Drew was completely convinced that it was a water park and was a little confused as to why we were not getting in our swimsuits!!! That boy was so hyped about going that on the drive there, we stopped at McDonald's and he was literally climbing on the tables! It was awesome. We finally took a break at around 5:00 p.m. and realized that since about 11:00 that morning we had neither fed nor "watered" the kids... I guess that we were really excited to be there also! There was so much fun stuff that we did while we were there and so many times that we were able to laugh at Valerie... Seriously, of all of the girls in our family, I would have to say that I am the most hot tempered and get irritated about things way quicker than the rest. On this trip, it was ALL Valerie! :) It was great fun to just sit back and watch the crazy roll off of her!! hehe, love you Val! She even cried at one point and the kids were flabbergasted as to what the heck was going on even though she was upset "for them". I will have to post more on the Disneyland subject when I finally get my pictures loaded.

Wren is still a wonderful baby. She sleeps through the night, usually for up to 13 hours. We have broken her of waking up in the night to have us put her pacifier back in her mouth. That only took one night of her (and me) crying for 2 1/2 hours straight. I am glad that it has not happened since because it really truly nearly broke my heart. It was completely worth it though. Now she will also go to sleep without being rocked for nap times also. There are times that I really miss that but it is such a blessing to be able to just lay her down, have her smile up at me, roll over and go to sleep. I also miss her sleeping in our bed with us. She sleeps better in her own bed but I really did love waking up to see her looking over at me and smiling when she saw that I was awake!!

Some of the funny things that she does now are still the fake coughing, she will do one real one and then it is all fake after that! Sometimes that also segues into fake laughing which I think is hilarious! She still loves the bathtub and now that she can sit up on her own she loves it even more, if possible. She discovered splashing and I can't even get mad at her because she has this look of pure bliss on her face as she does it! She has only had two diaper rashes, neither that have lasted very long or been very traumatic. She stands up (with my assistance at her insistence) holding on to couches or her walker/toy but is not very good at getting back down and usually just takes a nose dive and ends up hitting her head on the toy as well as the ground. She is really good at eating now and has decided that she does indeed like peas and green beans! The only thing that she has ever turned her head away from is red potatoes that came from Johnny Carino's and I think that it was because there was just to much "stuff" in them!

So that is pretty much all that has been going on and hopefully I will remember more detailed stuff once I find my pictures and then I will be able to update some more!! YAY!