Toys R Us

Tonight I couldn't handle being in my house anymore so I took the kids over to Valerie's. they were doing some major remodeling in their basement and we were pretty much just in the way so we scooted out of there. It was only 5:00 and I didn't want to go home so I decided we would go somewhere to eat. The only fast food I felt like eating was Burger King (still gross) but when I pulled into the parking lot I decided to let the kids go into toys r us to look at toys. I was a little scared at this point because I wanted to deal with ZERO fits about having to leave toys there. Wren was in H.E.A.V.E.N. she was running up and down the isles saying "oh my gosh mom, come look at this" "mom, this is so awesome!" "This is the best store ever mom!" It was sooo cute. Memphis just sat in the cart, content to be pushed around and wanting me to blow in his face. Crazy kid! ;) 

When we got to the bike/car aisle, wren jumped into this little Mini Cooper and cried out, "mom, the door was UNLOCKED!!" Then I couldn't even get her to look at me and smile because she was "vrrrrooooming" away! 

We had a really good time, wren didnt cry or ask for anything when we left and we still got to have BK on the way home. Toys R Us must have really worn her out because there was only one getting out if bed tonight and that was to go potty! 

THAT'S what I call a successful night! 

Panic attacks

Ok, since Jeremiah has been gone on this hitch I have not been sleeping well. I'm talking -not going to sleep until almost 5, sometimes more like 7 in the morning. It's crazy. I have these anxiety or panic attacks while I'm laying in bed thinking about what could happen. The day that Jeremiah went back on. (He's working in ND right now) I woke up with a numb hand. While trying to get the blood flowing back into it, other fingers went to sleep. Then my lips went tingly on the right side of my face. Then my leg felt weak. I thought I was having a strike and really started to panic. This happened to me one other time and Jeremiah was not home for that time either. I knew that things were going to get worse and I just kept thinking "what if I die?!" I don't necessarily call anyone in a daily basis and if Jeremiah didnt hear from me that night when he got to ND, he probably wouldn't be too concerned until the next day sometime. Meanwhile our kids would be stuck in our house all alone, no one to take care of them. With moms dead body. Yes, morbid, I know! So, I tried to text Valerie and just ended up sending her gibberish but somehow managed to get the HELP message in there. She called and had Sam Hendricks, her Father in Law come over and sit with my kids and she took me to the dr. I was reluctant to go because I have no insurance and NO money :( she was so worried that she fronted the bill. After seeing the dr. I had a migraine and they gave me three shots in the hip. ($410 later! Ugh). So. After that scare I think that I am now more worried than ever about what could happen if something happened to me or I am also really worried about someone breaking into the house. I have set up an air conditioner in our bedroom so I can't hear what's going on upstairs as well and every creak or weird noise jolts me awake. I need sleep and I don't know how to get past this fear I'm having. Grrr! I feel on the edge all the time. What to do??

Random

Ok, I realize that I haven't written on this blog in a LOOOONG time. Weirdly the thing that brought me back was a betrayal from a friend. This is a friend that has been "off" one other time in our friendship and at least at the time that the first "off" happened, I had a sense of what had happened. Granted, I still feel like she took the cheap, cowardly way out by writing me a letter, but at least I had a reason. This time she just disappeared out of my life one day. Her and her family moved to Rexburg. I'm pretty sure that when the first moved there that I saw her more than I did when she lived in IF. I went down there fairly often and always stopped to say hi or we got together and went to the water park or did something. I have NO IDEA what I did to her. She unfriended me on facebook and won't return any messages. I really feel like I was a good friend in this relationship. It is so frustrating/hurtful/confusing to me because I really feel like I put myself into this relationship and got nothing back. What is wrong with people? What is wrong with you?

Life these days

Jeremiah is now working in North Dakota in the oil fields. He has been out for 3 months now and I HATE it! I love the money and that we are getting our bills paid off. We are still living paycheck to paycheck, but at least now all of our bills are getting paid every month and we have money to budget some fun stuff also. I hate that he is gone for 4 weeks at a time. It is sooooo hard! It is really hard for Wren also. She asked me one night why daddy no love her! It was super sad! It gets so lonely without him here and some days I feel like I am slowly going crazy for lack of adult interaction and just touching. And nothing dirty by the way, just holding hands, having him hug me and just knowing that he is there. Night times are especially bad, especially when I hear random noises and then can't sleep at night. When he is not here, I don't sleep well and have to take naps most days. The week that he gets to come home is bittersweet. I am always counting down to when he is going to be home but when he gets here, I feel like the silent countdown of when he leaves again starts and I start to feel more and more anxiety as the time goes on.

We have decided that as soon as our credit cards are all paid off that we will all be moving out to ND to be with Jeremiah. It is just not natural to be separated like this.

7 Months old

Memphis Miles Martin


This boy is my joy! He is such a good baby. He doesn't cry unless he is tired or hungry. He has slept through the night for most of his life and is just so laid back and easy going.

Memphis Fun Facts:
he loves bath time and splashing!
he LOVES Wren, he just stares at her until she talks to him and then just smiles so big! I love it!
he is soooo tolerant of Wren and her "loving" of him. She is so rough with him and he just laughs!
he LOVES mommy also, he will follow me with his eyes everywhere I go.
The boy REFUSES to roll over. he doesn't care if I put him on his tummy. He will just lay there and go to sleep or play with a toy. he does know HOW to do it, he just refuses to actually follow through.
he is my pill bug. He will roll his legs up into his chest and roll from side to side when I lay him on his back.
he has the sweetest giggle and the girliest little scream when he is "talking" Mommy likes it, probably not many others though!
he is starting to like toys and has a couple that are favorites.

My big girl!

WREN IS POTTY TRAINED!!!



It only took about 3 days total! One day for pee, 2 days for poop and just one more day to be sure she knew what she was doing! She has only had 4 accidents total and we started last week, Monday the 16th. I am so amazed by this girl. She is such a fast learner and so independent. She now will go without even telling me that she is going (which is pretty gross when she goes poop!) and I never have to remind her or even ask her if she needs to go.

The only thing that makes me sad is that I feel like I am losing the last bit of "baby" that she was. I know that she will always be my baby, but now she is my big girl also.

Other fun Wren facts:
She still loves bath time, especially since she has princesses that bathe with her.
She loves all things disney princess
Her favorite disney princess is Ariel
She LOVES her baby brother and calls him Mr. Dude, just like mommy.
She loves Isabella and calls her "best friend"
I think she has a bit of a crush on Ethan and is always sad when he will not let her play with him.
She is still a good sleeper, she goes to bed at 8 (most nights) and wakes up between 10 and 11 in the morning.


I love my Wren Wren and feel so blessed to be her mom. I thank Heavenly Father every day for the opportunity to be in her life.

Wow!

I know it has been forever since I have updated this blog. That usually just means that I am happy and don't have anything to complain about! :) Life has been super busy and having two kids is crazy! I don't know how my mom did it with SEVEN!

MEMPHIS:
Memphis is a fantastic baby. He is so mellow and easygoing. He endures all of the love that Wren gives to him. He loves to smile and laughs at everybody. He likes it when I "throw" him up in the air, that will almost always get a smile/laugh out of him. He has not yet rolled over. He just doesn't care!!! He is just as happy being laid on his tummy as he is on his back. He usually just falls asleep. Crazy kid! :) I lost my milk with him as well, at about the same time as I did with Wren. Happily he is doing well on formula and getting so big. I think he has more rolls on him than Wren ever has and I would say he is still on the small end. We are loving him a LOT and are very thankful that he is such a good natured kiddo! Memphis went trunk or treating as a monkey this year. We borrowed the costume from Aunt Valerie!

WREN:
Wren is getting so big and talks non-stop. It's usually really cute. She also loves to sing and sings to Memphis a lot of the time. She loves ANYTHING Disney Princess or Tinkerbell. She still loves bath time and likes it when I put Memphis in the bath with her so she can "help". She has started to say that she is "scary" which means that she is scared. She is to the point that she wants to do everything by her self. She always tells me "MY TURN". On one hand, it's so nice... on the other hand, she gets frustrated when she can't do it but she doesn't want help even when she can't do it. Sometimes there is a lot of yelling on both sides for that reason! Wren LOVES waffles for breakfast. Sometimes we have frozen waffles and sometimes we have microwaved eggs that I put peanut butter and syrup on and she calls both of them waffles! She's so funny! She likes to tell you what all kinds of animals say. She will also tell you that Elmo says "lalalala, Elmo's World" and that Papa (Mike) says "kisses". I'm trying to teach her that mommy says "NO,NO!" but she hasn't caught on to that one yet! The other day I asked her if she was a starvin marvin and she said "No, I'm starving Wren!" She's way to smart for her own good! Wren went trunk or treating as a ladybug this year. I made her tutu and borrowed a ladybug print jacket from my mom.

I have put Memphis and Wren in the same room and they are doing so good together. Wren doesn't even wake up anymore when I go in to feed him before I go to bed at night (usually between 2 and 4 a.m.) and they sleep until between 9:30 and 11 a.m. so I would say that is pretty darn good! Wren has not yet tried to crawl into the crib with him so I would say that is another large accomplishment. The front of the crib curves out (like a sleigh bed) so that deters her from that direction, but I think she could get in from the side if she really tried. I think she just remembers that I used to put her in there as a punishment so there's no way she is getting in there voluntarily! :) I love that girl!

JEREMIAH AND ME:
Jeremiah got a job driving water truck in the oil fields of North Dakota with a company called North Fork Oil. He will be gone for 4 weeks at a time, then home for 1 week. He left on 10/16 and will be gone for 7 weeks this time. 3 for training and 4 "regular" weeks. It is so hard here without him. Wren misses him like crazy and there aren't enough words to describe how much I need him. Today is our anniversary. Our TEN year anniversary. I can't believe that it has been that long. It seems so short a time and yet looking back, we have grown so much both as a couple and as individuals. So, today is already a rough day and it hasn't even officially started! I don't want to be alone today, of all days :( but I am trying to be strong! I am even going to try not to cry in front of Wren! I am trudging along being a mom and loving that I get to be at home to raise my kids. They are my greatest joy even though raising them is my greatest trial at times also! The good times are definitely worth the trying times though so I'll take it!

I'll try to do better on my blog!